Warning! If you don't like bodily fluids look away now.
There is a lump. Near my armpit area. It has been checked out and it's a "nothing to be worried about" lump. Can someone tell this to Lump please. It has been there quite happily minding its own business for the past year or so til recently. Something's made it angry. And you know what happens when you get angry ? Yes that's right you go green! Or in this case red and swollen. Think "how to get ahead in advertising" So when Lump wakes me in the middle of night because it's feeling very angry I try to placate it with Very Hot Water Salt Solution. It's getting very big and may explode at any moment. Take cover. You have been warned!