Sunday, 7 September 2014

Growing old disgracefully

As I readied myself for an evening of social engagements the lovely dress I wore recently to friends wedding was sadly lacking something that I had forgotten to remedy since the last outing. Having the right bra! At said wedding the strapless contraption I wore was so tight that half way through the day I ended up taking it off. Free boobing was in that day and I didn't care.
This evening was slightly different as there was a need to be demure and proper in the first half of the evening and party party lady later. He man pointed out that freeboobin was not an option, in a sensitive manner I might add.
After much faffing with tit tape and several other options I found an old forgotten wonder bra. Bright pink! Amazing cleavage! The lovely keyhole feature on the back was overcome and bra straps concealed. Heman managed to convey a look of " shes going to do this anyway " with "you look great mum"  I decided the delicate orange spaghetti straps of my dress could take the wider fuchsia pink bra straps. Extra tit tape applied to keep in place. Cardigan donned for the demure bit and off I went.
Needless to say the cardigan had to stay on all evening.  I got hotter and hotter in the restaurant aware of the cleavage rising like mounds of dough. Spillage occurring and not in a good way. I was also a acutely aware of the noise tittape makes when you move and it rips from the fabric.  I am clearly applying it wrong,.
I arrived at the party still wearing cardigan. My friends didn't think anything of this as it was now a bit nippy (get it?) with the Indian summer failing to show with several ladies donning extra layers outside. A few dance moves later, aided by some fizz, the cardigan HAD to come off. I can only say the look of horror on my friends faces as they clapped eyes on my escaping boobs will stay with me for a while. Despite this I continued to dance in usual fashion, lots of arm waving etc without a care in the world.
I loved that bra. I love the dress. But I can't breathe in it with a strapless number on and bra less means it looks like I have packed up to go South for the autumn. Where is the pertness?  *wails
Advice please most welcome.

1 comment:

  1. I found a website purely by chance recently that provided for cross dressers, it had super strong tape to hold man wobbly bits in place (might be stronger than tit tape?) and interesting stick on fake nipples were in there too but I deviate - I bet you made that party go with a swing (sorry no pun intended) ... think you should just look back and laugh and wait until bra-less comes back in before venturing out in that dress again :)