The old fingers may, according to my GP, be the start of arthritis. Wtf! One hand has swollen itchy sausage fingers. I did not associate that with arthritis. An X-ray is now scheduled to hopeful rule that out. Please god let it be a case of swollen itchy finger. Given my recent cereal box challenge and limber limbs it can't possibly be Arthur Itis.
Oh my lawd can someone turn the heating down! Oh my room is like an ice block you say. Well what's that foul sweaty odour in the middle of the night? Surely the dog is in my room doing silent sleepy farts? No? It's me?
Coarse hair giving you trouble? It never did me, before now. These days I seem to be on a permanent quest to find the perfect shampoo to turn my greying brunette Brillo pad locks into something more sleek shiny bouncy and youthful.
There is of course the unwanted hair in prominent places but I just can't face admitting to my bearded lady status just yet.
Mother nature can just go ........