Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Preparations for VIP Guests

In a few short days we welcoming back grandad and Mrs Grandad ( long suffering step mum LSSM)  This involves preparations.

  • Firstly I buy tonic to go with the gin. It has to be the teeny tiny tins of tonic or even better the teeny tine bottles of fever tree if I am feeling particularly flush. I am not feeling flush.
  • Speaking of flush.. The toilet paper has to be thick, quilted, embossed, expensive! We have it in vast quantities
  • Liquid hand soap is eschewed for small tablets of soap
  • Banish spicy foods although Long Suffering Step mum loves spicy. We never ever call anything curry or it wont get eaten
  • The refusal to use the main bathroom for a morning shave in preference for the guest bathroom means that the smallest room in the house is rammed full of more toiletries than the average Boots.
  • Superglue is bought and at the ready for all the things he may or may not break
  • There will be at least one clumsy incident
  • There will be at least one item, usually quite important ie medication, underwear, that they forget to bring. 
  • All dentists, hairdressers and local garage or on stand by for the regular visit.
  • As is their old local pub, ikea and every single supermaket chain going
  • A visit to the bottle bank pre arrival is essential as the numbers  of corks a popping every night is significant. They are on holiday and thats what you do. I am more than happy to partake as is She-ra
  • The local bacon consumption will increase significantly
  • We will have more cheese than a counter in Selfridges
  • Cakes a plenty
  • The dog will have extra long walks in the morning and therefore will loiter noisily outside their bedroom from about 5am
  • 5am is usually the first rising of grandad.
  • The house will be noisy - we love it
and then they're a gone and we miss them terribly.


  1. This sounds very familiar to me....aren't we lucky to have them....enjoy the visit.