Sunday, 21 July 2013

Into the archives

A bit late to the game this week but none the less I am here with Tara's "the gallery" Into the archives.

I give you three decades of me. 60's 70's & 80's. I can hardly remember anything surrounding any of these photos.

60's - My grandad. Or as my sister renamed him Da. Poor poor man. He was treated terribly by his wife and her family aka Bonkers Nan who renamed herself from Grandma to Nan leaving me very confused. Long since dead, former soldier of the Black Watch, master french polisher. Brilliant card games but couldn't remember your name. Liked a lot of potatoes and drank from a pint pit of tea. Tha'ts him no tme.

 A rare one of me and my drug dealer. Oooops, sorry no that was mother rocking the all the leather and raybans look. She is very thin so must be divorce diet.

Rather fitting it thought given that She-ra has just come back from a holiday in Bulgaria with another family and WITHOUT me to protect her! Been in Liam Neeson mode for past week - I will find you and when I find you I will kill you etc... This is me same age clearly with sex traffickers, NOT.  What goes n holiday stays on holiday right?!

Sticky Fingers Photo Gallery

Monday, 15 July 2013

Dating game

After 3 months on e-harmony I am delighted to announce that my subscription has finished. I can now breathe again. It was getting to the point where I didn't dare look to see which dick head I had been supposedly expertly matched with next. During my 3 months I discovered that there are a lot of men called Stephen of my era, or thereabouts as I did seem to get a lot of very old men thrown into the mix ( what's all that about ?)  This made it very confusing for me as I found one Stephen morphed into another. This of course led to the embarrassment of accidentally texting one Steve as if he was another. Oops! No date there then. E harmony asks you over 500 bleeding questions. 500! This is supposedly to help with compatibility. So a tip to the guys out there, answer the bleeding questions. Also put as many photos of you as possible up there to give us at least a clue that you might be normal. The more information you put out there guys the less you look like a weirdo!

I now take it as read that men lie about their height. Maybe there should be a category called " I am 5'10 in heels just for dwarves."In fact I think there is a lot of lies going on, white or otherwise. Determined to be as open minded as possible and not judge people just for their looks or profile or lack of banter I had hoped to be swept off my feet. Had I wanted to travel 100 miles for a date then one guy almost orgasmed when I rang him and he had planned our first date with such meticulous detail that it was off putting, that and a 200 mile round trip for what was already doomed. Another fell foul of not being able to read a tape measure properly and I was taller than them in heels. And I am the smallest in the family I am repeatedly told. Another Stephen of big chin, big wallet threw a wobbler when I inadvertently made an innocent quip that he decided to psycho analyse to death having been on a "relationship course." Give me strength!

One guy, I think I will call him Steve, good looking chap was clearly on the lash and started sending me suggestive messages. Oo hello I thought. We've pulled! And then he got all apologetic for being a rude boy just as it got interesting. Wimp.

The age thing really got me hacked off. My ex husband was a decade and a half older than me. I have tried antique and I am wanting something a little more youthful. Not a decade and a half youthful but you get me? So I am sorry to all those grandads out there who I never responded to. Im in my 40's not 60's and dont want to go there.

No sooner had I plucked up the courage to part with my hard earned cash to go on this supposedly best matching site I regretted it. What am I doing?! I am actually quite happy not going on dates with poor matches, dwarves or Steves. I am less happy at not having bloody great sex or having someone to try out a new bar or restaurant but hey ho it's not keeping me awake at night.

I am not bothered about profession, within reason, manual types are good with their hands right? ( See Hot Date blogs of 2010/11) Kids are ok - ish, older teens preferred but its not a deal breaker. Wallet size is not a deal breaker either. Height is though, I tried to lower my preference to 5'8 but sorry guys shorties leaves me cold. Banter is good. A top class sense of humour laugh-me-all-the-way-to-bed kind of humour is essential; its rare to get that vibe from a formulaic web site.

My lasting image of e-harmony was of a very happy man called er Steve. There was just one picture of him. At work, Driving his bus. He looked so happy with his big belly touching the steering wheel and his big ears sticking out like saucers. I wish him all the very best in finding his love match.

My Sunday

Weekends have fallen into a new rhythm.  Fridays nights seem to be rushing to an evening out somewhere, Saturday is busy busy busy mainly housework; leaving a very relaxing Sunday. Spent mainly in the garden. Lounging. Snoozing. Reading. Pottering. Listening to the Sounds of the 70's ( which is unlocking so many memories for me as a child of the 70's with 0 recollection.) Dog walking. Cooking. Drinking vino. Perfecto, long may this last!