As I exited the bathroom still putting my belt back on I said to my daughter " have you seen the size of my dough balls ( they are currently on top of the boiler in said bathroom ) Her eyebrows shot off her the back of her head
Whilst partaking in my weekly swim at some swanky new facilities there was a senior senior citizen in the lane next to me. As I concentrated on trying to remember how many lengths I had done my concentration was broken every time I passed him and he muttered " dirty bitch" under his breath. I was shocked. I wasn't even in a sexy swim suit so how could he know?
Shopping for Friday night tea, and absolutely nothing else, "oh all right you can put that in the trolley then," She-ra observed a woman putting things into her trolley in a unique style. I think she must have had a bad day at work because she threw every single item of vegetable into her basket with such gusto and snarly venom that I can only predict instant bruising. Unfortunately me being child like and everything I imitated her whilst still in view. She tried to ram me later.
The car travelling at speed on the otherside of the road on a windy bendy bendy country road had a geriatric at the wheel shaving. Yes shaving. *rolls eyes in disbelief.
When you burn yourself badly as I have recently done the wearing of rubber gloves in the most stupid thing you could do as the goddamn rubber sticks to the blistery bit and then yanks off when you remove gloves leaving an angry red sore. I predict a scar for life