Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Las Palmas Ocho

I have no idea if that title is correct and hell I don't care. What I do know is that when it comes to October the highlight of that month, maybe even the year, is that girlie holiday away. 8 ladies of a certain age with a kind of confidence that has grown men quaking in their boots and young men curious as a cat, with only a thought for themselves and the laughter they might have away for a long weekend somewhere warm

As designated map reader I failed miserably this year and we got lost several times but I feel I redeemed myself with the a very good find of an apartment in central old town Palma.The apartment always has a quirk. This year it was state of the art bathrooms that had no doors. They also led straight off the main room and had a non flushing toilet but given there was a high state of constipation going around this was not too much of a problem.

There are compulsory activities. We have the eating, the late lazy breakfasts, the long lunches and the late dinners, the Cava, the bimbling, the shopping, the browsing, a bit of culture and a  bit of dancing, the flopping down after a hard day of nothing and the vava vooming as we get ready to go out again.
We also had bicycling which was immense fun and ended in ... yes you guessed it a long lazy late lunch with nicest of staff ever who even gave us their wine glasses to take home.

There were themes as always to this jaunt.
Songify -This has us in hysterics

Who has had the most poos and who hasn't had any? This unfortunately was a strong theme
This rightly leads on to Constipation cures of which there were many. I give you fruit, seedy fruit, strong coffee, sniffing library books, a phone box ( I kid you not,) a shower, a run, cigarettes, pulpy orange juice  and a roast dinner to give you, and I quote, " a good gravy smell". As you can see we gave this a lot of thought and came up with a lot of remedies most of which were tried.

On still a note of high sophistication as us ladies pondered one day a certain word. there is always A word that grabs our imagination one year it was Camel toe. This year it was Queef. Look it up.

There was another running theme of being wild like you didn't do in your youth. I didn't need to participate in this because ahem well I was. This mainly seemed to involve doing fake tattoos, including a spitting cock, jumping in water fountains, getting terribly terribly drunk and coming home terribly terribly late

I suppose I should also include the mad dash to the terminal where we ran through the airport at break neck speed, in wedges I'll have you know, in case Mr Ryanair left without us.

Roll on 2012. Which European destination will be our next target?


  1. What a lot of fun (apart from the constipation). Wish I could ride a bicycle so I could do it all too ... what is it like to carry wine glasses home on a bicycle after consuming the contents? or does one not remember!

  2. Brilliant! What a laugh!

    I'm always constipated on holiday. Is it the change of diet? I always find bookshops make me want to go so the suggestion of sniffing library books is about right.

  3. I've been bunged up a fortnight before. There's no pan like you're own pan, I say!

    So that's a Queef! Softer and

  4. Betty - bike riding is great fun, especially on the flat after a lazy lunch. The majorcans seem to have the wierdest wine glasses like petri dishes.
    Trish - must be the water. *cough
    Lena - that's one way of describing it

  5. You and the gals are lucky to have each other y'know...I guess that is something you celebrate every year right?
    p.s. queef? and all these years I've thought fanny fart.....

  6. Libby - we celebrate it ALL the time, coffee on a Saturday afternoon, book club, twitter you name we do it. Queef fanny fart its all the same but queef sounds more ladee likee