Monday, 27 June 2011

oo like Mammooth?

Tonight we have....
Laughed hysterically at the huge red cyst that is growing under my arm pit. It is painful and even though She-ra tried squeezing it once she is now very afraid of it. Bless her that she tried in the first instance. Doctors beckons now and a possible remake of How To Get Ahead in Advertising.
Sat outside to eat our lovely scrumptious in the top 10 suppers.
We played gin rummy whilst pretending to be the Hairy Cave men from Armstrong & Miller. We found it hilarious I'm not so sure about the neighbours.

I now have a date with Mr Veet -Wax strips and Mrs Tweezers. I blame all that sun - it makes things grow.

Sunday, 26 June 2011

Monday, 20 June 2011

Spain, Red Wine & A 12ft Wardrobe

You may need the sick bucket before you read the rest of this article. You see I am in the throes of young love. Yes I know I am not young but the relationship is and as such you do soppy things. I give you recent conversation with Hot Date.
Me ( clearly the soppy one ): What do you think of when you think of me?
HD: looks very puzzled
Me: Ok what images come into your head when you think of me?
No sooner had I said this I realised that was a devilish look that had crossed fleetingly across his mush and not a look of confusion that I mistook it for
Me - still ( I can talk the hind legs off a donkey ): So when I think of you I think of sport, healthiness, clean, and sunshine.
HD, looking crestfallen as I hadn't mentioned sex: that makes me sound very boring
Me: So What.Do.You.Think.Of .When. You.Think.Of. Me. ( Speaking slowly now as he doesn't look like he gets it and I am beginning to lose patience whilst beginning to be fearful of his answers )
HD: I think of Spain ( I am a cunning linguist of which he has recently been a lucky beneficiary ) Red Wine ( If our relationship should falter then my legacy to him will be the introduction of vino ) and a 12ft wardrobe. ( say what )
Me: Que?
HD: You have a 12ft wardrobe.
I do not see a problem with that. Everything is hung up just as it should be. We have summer and winter, work and pleasure. We have shoes and boots, shelves for scarves and bags. Hangers for belts. Drawers for stuff that I forget about. Drawers for holiday documents and drawers for articles I have ripped out of magazines for inspiration for rooms I will never decorate. Drawers for the clothes that I am fearful I might one day grow back into so them there those fat pants will stay shoved to the back. I do not share my bedroom with anyone and therefore all that wardrobe space is mine. Mine I tell you all mine.
Me: What's wrong with that?
HD : Nothing. It's what might be in it that scares me.


Friday, 17 June 2011

A work day and I was naked

Today has been the end of very busy working week. To be fair every week is a bloody hard working week but this one just seemed even more so. I rarely leave the office. I seem bound to my desk by invisible cords. A shame when I know the city is calling me, tempting me with lovely shops to spend my money. But no, I eat at my desk and just plough one through. I can't even be arsed to go to the gym like I did last year. Oh no sorry that wasn't last year that was 4 years ago. Nor do I slope off with a book to find some sunshine to bathe in. Nope work work work. Just like the rest of the world.
Apart from today. I was on a mission. To buy a cigar. For father day. It's not often I buy such gifts but hey he's here instead of there and I thought why not. Plus I got one for a very good friend and colleague at work by way of thanks. Thrilled at being in a humidor. Delighted at my purchases and the fact I managed not buy myself any cigars despite being a smoke free zone for many a decade ( but I could at a drop of hat I really could .) This spurred me on. What else was I in the mood for? Getting naked clearly. Having just returned from a week on very hot sunshine what I felt I needed was a bikini. What better time try on a bikini than when you have a tan. OK so the kids have being calling me Benidorm Madge. Really ! Harrumph! Actually less Madge more mottled spam as I had slapped on sun cream like a demented idiot missing more than I hit with the result of a mottled spam effect the next day. This is never a good look particularly when you have gone on a romantic-can't keep your-hands-off-each-other week with Hot Date.

So never one to pass up an impulse I dived into the nearest retail therapy surgery. In this case TK Maxx and dived on the swimwear section. Having harboured bikini envy for a whole week. whilst away along with Summer wardrobe envy too I felt that my next jolly in the summer should be better kitted out. 10 bikinis later I have purchased 2 at a tenner each down from £55 each. Bargain! It did it strike me as bizarre as I was stood starkers at a half past one of a work day that I wouldn't normally be naked at this time of day. But then I quite like the idea of being naked when you shouldn't be - it's so naughty isn't it.

Monday, 13 June 2011

I just cant get you out of my head

Does the title of my blog get you thinking of Kylie? Do you sometimes have a song going round and round in your head that either irks you or puts a smile on your face. Imagine my horror when I woke this morning humming this.

So I tweeted as you do.

Reminded me of the first single I ever bought, jimmy Osmond's Long haired lover from Liverpool. What was yours?

To which replied damn you I'm humming it now. Grrr

And it got me thinking what was your first single that you bought or can remember bopping around to. ( I should also point out that whilst discussing this at dinner my daughter couldn't get her head round buying vinyl and that it was 2 sided - #totallookofconfusion)Whilst I can't deny that not only was I member of the Osmond fan club and yes Tony Blackburn gave me a birthday mention before playing Long haired lover from Liverpool ( Sorry Jimmy but I actually preferred Donny ) I think it was actually Suzie Quattro Down at the Devil gate drive oh hang on it could have been Alvin Stardust. Damn it I can't remember - can you? Please feel free to comment with your first remembered single

Sunday, 12 June 2011