I needed new bras. Scrap that needed new lingerie. After all I have a Hot Date in my life and half the fun is in the unwrapping. He had even been sending me suggestions via email, with favourite being Ultimo. Sorry but I like to try before I buy and they only do mail order. I had to be in the right frame of mind to be constantly stripping off in garishly lit changing rooms getting the old baps out whilst trying to decide if it fitted or not. So despite the recent sudden dump of snow I was up for it, I was going to town, I was going to strip off innumerable times, I was going to bare all in front of madams who hoist you in and manoeuvre your bosoms about. All very very sexy.
First obstacle was the fact that my boobs have changed cup size again. I know you are supposed to get them measured every year but let's face it they're aren't that many of us who actually do that ( or do they?) I don't actually mind the measuring part it s the fact that my body seems determined to go through every bleedin letter of the alphabet when it comes to cup size. We are now out of Double D's and into E bah gum territory. Then of course each manufacturer sizes differently so you end up trying on a truck load.
So there I was in House of Fraser naked from the waist up trying on everything from Calvin to Elle. I think I tried on about 25 bras in total. When one of them attacked me - see the scars.
These were very painful. You see I am of the school who has to fasten at the front and pull round. I am not of the school who can be double jointed and have eyes in the back of their head and fasten behind their back. I think I might have to try that. I left House of Fraser with one solitary purchase of matching brief and bra feeling wounded and not at all sexy. I thought I'd give M&S a whirl for once but no joy there. I even traipsed into Ann Summers ( there will be another blog post about that one along very soon *ahem.) As I sat with my girlfriends sipping coffee for a Saturday afternoon catch up I thought there is nothing for it I am going to have to go to the local lingerie shop where I know I will get a wow bra all be it a bit pricey. I don't think I have been here since post divorce so call it three years. I knew I would be parting with about £40-£50 quid.
As I stood in the changing room trying on yet even more bras without a tape measure in site whilst being told about my wide breasts and deformed spine pushing them out, yes I felt like Quasimodo, I marvelled at this woman's expertise in bringing out the best in my bosoms in the most gorgeous bras ever. She was delighted I had entered her emporium looking for colourful and sexy bras as opposed to the usual black and white tee shirt bras. This woman could sell coals to Newcastle and ice to the Innuits. She is sat atop a gold mine with her till ringing out all day. I succumbed to a very sexy number with matching thong. A number that, apparently,has been flying out of the door and even women from France have been flying over to purchase because her prices are so competitive. However even I balked at the £150 price tag for a bra and tiny bit of lace knickers opting for the bra only. In fact I think I actually shrieked " how much?" when she told me the price. I might try and fashion something to match said boulder holder and see if I can pass it off as a £65 pair of knicks. I just wish I was one of those woman she kept telling me about who bought 3 or 4 sets at a time and had the budget to do. How much would you pay? I mean what is the average price of a bra? I have to confess though the £85 bra is a joy to wear and gives the confidence a boost nevermind the boobs.