Friday, 28 January 2011
Monday, 24 January 2011
Sunday, 23 January 2011
Please also be aware that when you do wash your hair that your colleagues think you have been to some expensive salon due to the massive transformation of skankiness to foxiness. Insulting really don't you think.
- Have a bit if lie in - say 9am
- A bit of blogging drop by as have been very busy of late with a huge cup of freshly brewed cwaffee
- Clean bathroom ( rather not )
- Fix car indicator ( oh cock )
- Go swimming ( looking forward to it )
- Make pizza dough for tea later
- leg exercises a plenty
- woken at 7am by wrinklies
- unexpected phone call from Scottish BFF for nearly an hour - this was lovely but also made me want to drive straight up to Bonny Scotland and give her a big hug. It will be alright.
- dog comes back from walk with G-man having rolled in a large amount of fox poo. Wash dog immediately in nearest thing to hand, Head & Shoulders. She hates every minute of it and manges to make all her body go very floppy so its impossible to wash her.
- now I really do have to clean the bathroom all three of them, including He-mans (ew )
- try to coordinate the wishes of 5 people all wanting to do different things all at that same time. Just as you get it sorted G-man changes his mind
- go lie down and rest leg and previous point was driving me nuts.
- schedule in a quick visit to school uniform shop in dodgy part of town for 2 new school blouses that are made out of the worst fabric ever. All for the princely sum of £21 quid. Toilet roll is more robust than these school shirts.
- collect all the dog poo off the back lawn. I reckon about 2kg? How come so much shit comes out of such a small dog.
- managed to get my hand into the back of headlights but couldn't fathom how to fix indicator. However the prodding and poking must have worked as it is now working again. Glad I'm not a gynaecologist and this exercise places yet another black mark against the car that is known as the she devil or Renault Megane. Never has a car had so many design faults....* commence chuntering
- Realise the swimming will have to go by wayside. Damn now have mega skanky hair #skankysaturday rolls on
- Spent lovely time with step mum in town with She-ra in tow.
- Was shocked at how many men's heads She-ra turned. Some one get me a burka please!
- A trip to Sainsbury's for the pizza toppings. When will I learn to cook something with ingredients I actually have in the house?
- Hurtle out of the house to get to the cinema in time, forgetting Black Swan is a 15 and trying to save money on entrance fee announced she was 14.
- Had to go to another cinema- caused chaos a ticket machine, booked practically the front row of cinema. Didn't realise Black Swan had so much sex in it. First time G-man has ever stayed awake whilst at the movies particularly at the girl on girl bit, then he had a big grin on his face.
- Bloody leg kills
- Bed with a smile as have managed to get the buy in of different people to allow me to have the best ever treat in a few months.
- Grinning ear to ear
You will notice there is not much "lover" in this post despite its title. Well c'mon something had to give. A few texts were all I could manage today.
Friday, 14 January 2011
- Any new fragrance launch by Jo Malone or Tom Ford
- Product tester for Christian Louboutin ( or Le -boob-itin as we call him round ours )
- Heated rollers - I am addicted to mine but they're not brilliant
- Hair products in general
- Rigby & Peller or Agent Provocateur - Real women in real lingerie not stick thins please
- All of Jet2.com flight routes as a girlie weekend destinations
- Luxury self catering accommodation at said destination
- Destination restaurants - see point 6 & 7
- Review of comedy gigs for our leading lights particularly if performing at Edinburgh Festival
- Cars - ones that go forwards and backwards and engines that don't fall out of them
- Family holidays for teenagers who don't want to be within 50 yards of you never mind sat on a plane or in a tent
- Film premieres - we love the movies in our house and much of our conversations are laced with filmic references much to the horror of Hot Date " you had me at hello " see what I mean
- A love nest for me and Hot Date - I would really promote this above and beyond anything else ever in the whole wide world
- Mystery shopping selected gym and spas
- Breakfast foods in particular cereal of vast teenage boys size quantities
- Baking products. I am currently have to buy in bulk to sate the She-ra baking bug. 5kg bags of icing sugar I kid you not and super duper non stick baking tins of assorted shapes. Eat Me - has a lot to answer for.
- Clothes - I look in good clothes. They hide the otherwise not so good out of clothes body that hangs off my bones. Preferably tailored, my own tailor who never reveals my measurements
- Mortgages - ones that seem to quadruple what you pay in and miraculously pay it all off in a fraction of the time.
- Cleaning companies - yes you can come and clean my house and I'll review it with my white cotton glove
- Superdry, Jack Wills, Lacoste & Joules. I think these products need testing on real kids in a real home with real washing machines - don't you?
Friday, 7 January 2011
- Gin or failing that Red wine. I can review that expertleee *hic
- Self help books on looking after teenagers
- Reviewing camp sites around the UK
- Girlie weekends away on the continent
- Shoes shoes and more shoes. Heels mainly flats rarely,
- Sex including toys and their application rating out of 10
- Care for the elderly - see G-man
- Poor man's guide to securing a divorce
Sunday, 2 January 2011
In no particular order
- We moved house to our lovely new family home. Filled with sunshine and laughter. It's mine all mine ( well and the kids and the dog )
- I went to Barcelona with work and had an absolute ball. Sides ached with laughing, and in the name of work too. Normally you are lucky if go more than a 100 mile radius away.
- Saw She-ra confidence grow in buckets. She's a much happier person than this time last year
- He-man got through his gcse's and even managed to pass some of them
- My sister moved house too and its absolutely fab
- Brother in law has work coming out of his ears
- I got really into my running and could do a 10k in less than an hour - hurrah, It's good for me anyway, have you seen the size of my thighs?!
- We are no longer camping virgins but might call for an annulment
- I realised there was more to life than Inspector Frost and a cold flat and moved on
- There is a lot more laughter in my life these days, mainly due to Hot Date, just hope it lasts.
The thing is I can't help measure this list by the fact that nearly all of these blessings are as a result of overcoming the after effects of my ex. He casts a shadow over every day of my life and right this moment that shadow has gripped my son who is in a very dark place. What an utter bastard who could do something so utterly awful and not face the consequences. It was with these thoughts in my head that I couldn't face New Years Eve partying and felt thoroughly miserable. But the sun rose on a new day and in the words of the Buttercup syrup Capercaillie "I feel better now!"<