Sunday, 7 November 2010

Spare Ribs

Picture the scene: I am 2 hours away from home driving in rush hour traffic with other people in the car. It is nose to tail traffic, in a city I don't know. it's dark. The mobile goes several times and ignore it. I'm driving after all. however this caller was persistent.

She-ra - sounding worried: I've had to go for a walk to calm down
Me, not really listening - what's happened?
She-ra: well he wouldn't turn his music down...And I asked him, so then I....(voice trailing off )
Me, listening a bit more - what's happened? Are you still out?
She-ra; well I did ask him and I didn't mean too but I just lost it.
Me, thinking oh shit.:What's happened?
She-ra :I threw a pan at him but I think I missed.

At this point I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. If she had lost her temper you could be rest assured that the he had been giving some lip and being obnoxious as only an older brother can be til she flipped. However I was now worried about what if he flipped back? There would be blood spilled if that was the case. So I thought I'd go for another tack and try He-man's phone. No reply. Getting worried now and thanking god I am stationary traffic. My passengers were bemused. I try him again.

He-man - Yes I am here - his voice sounded clipped as if was auditioning for a part as a German officer in 'Allo 'Allo. I am fine She-ra is here and is ok, aren't you. You are OK aren't you? I can hear mumbling from She-ra. She comes onto the phone and in an equally stilted voice says, I am fine but your pan is broken.

I now worry for 2 hours.

I finally arrive Chez Adams Family. She has been crying. He is in the shower. I survey the scene nothing broken apart from the very good quality saucepan which is unrepairable.
C'mon, I cry, you should be at rugby I could get you there if you rush. ( He-man doesn't do fast ever )
He comes downstairs in nothing but a towel where he points to the large bruise on his ribs. I'm fine just a but sore, he said all very grown up. In fact he really surprised me at how adult he was being about the whole thing, giving her hug at her distress of actually hitting him, not going to rugby where he could have done further damage. a trip to the doc next day confirmed our suspicions and she thanked him for brightening up her afternoon with such a daft tale.

How she managed to hit him I never know but in future I shall be putting all possible missiles in a locked cupboard when ever I am out of the house.


  1. She broke a saucepan? gosh there must have been some force in that throw....siblings huh? it's love/hate/love...

  2. Oh God, you have my life (except you're thinner and having more sex) I've just had to lay down the law with my 2 younger kids tonight too. Feck it's so tedious... pass the gin

  3. Libby - it was the handle that came off rather than the pan breaking into two. Think this one will stick with them both for a very long time.

    Auntie G - you need to add in that I am poorer and peely wally skin at the moment too. Not going to disagree with the rest and I always have gin in the house