I read lots of blogs about parents with teenagers. I love the camaraderie, the shared angst, the low slung underpant tale and the what time did you call this story. I always seem to find though that these are parents of children who know when to buckle down, who know when the boundary has been pushed too far and that they are now prepared to put some effort in. This is where our similarities end. And my anguish begins.
My son, who I love so much, can charm the birds out of the trees is Difficult with a capital D. If he has a last warning he has to go for it. If he has to apply himself he just doesn't bother. The laziness is in the extreme just like the partying. Always the last to leave, the latest to return home. Now we have got into 6th form, just, he is already kicking back. he clearly doesn't want to be there. This infuriates me. I knew this would happen yet he refused all my offers of help - let's look at alternatives etc. Now he's there he hates it despite all his earlier claims of wanting to settle down and prove all and sundry that he is capable. That was short lived. The teachers have gone from "wow he's great " to "oops he's slipping into bad habits again. "Although a recent meeting with them was really positive and they do seem genuinely want to help him. Even the Lesbian PE teacher with size 14 feet as he-man puts it wants to help him, much to my surprise.Course it doesn't help that a recent letter from Mr X caused He-man to go off the deep end just when he needs stability in his life.
I despair. At what point is he going to wake up and smell the coffee. We dropped off a CV tonight at a big chain DIY store. Just a part time job filling shelves. Over 500 applicants for 5 posts. He did pass comment but as if the fierce competition was nothing to do with him.
I worry about him . I worry about what will happen to him. I worry how he will feel if he doesn't realise his full potential and is stuck in crap jobs. Intellectually he could run rings round you and that would kill him in a crap job. He toys with you like a cat with a spider and has had great fun goading me tonight watching me laugh uncontrollably as his twaddle.
The mumping I can cope with. The biting my head off by asking the wrong question at the wrong time too. As long as I know he is working and studying as the pay off. The feeling is that raising teenagers is like having a jigsaw without the picture and all the pieces are scattered everywhere - just where do you begin to fit it all together?
The offers to help him with his career to make an informed choice falls on deaf ears. A suggestion to look at apprenticeships meets with a sneer. Yet the previous week he was going to be an engineer cum plasterer. Now he is talking about becoming a lifeguard and leaving to live in the south of France in pair of red Speedos. I know most 16 year old don't know what they want to do but at least they apply themselves in the meantime.
So what do I do? There isn't much left in reserves to help him through. I am nearing the end of my tether as my son looks like he is about to go off into the sunset in a pair of speedos and a massive attitude and 0 qualifications.