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Thursday, 9 September 2010

just piss on the border

The dog has had fleas. She has had tapeworm. Nice. In fact whilst away the little blighters bred like mad on my sofa. Double nice. I have de-flead the dog twice and the house. The spray nearly killed me. I didn't see anything on the instructions about wearing full body armour and a gas mask.

The fleas are still here. In the garden. It's that bastard fox that keeps coming in a digging up huge holes in the garden. It is mangy of the first order. And what the fuck is it looking for in my little patch of garden. Ironically it keeps digging up the foxglove. So how do I get rid of the fox that is infecting my lovely dog? Someone suggested a gun. One colleague feeds hers. Another has killed 2. (Am not sure about that one, a bit of poetic licence methinks) One colleague suggested the following:

Take one alpha male ( he-man step forward please )
Go forth and mark your territory ( say what ?! )
Go round the border of your garden n get a superior animal ie alpha male, to piss in your garden. The fox senses it and doesn't come back.

I thought he'd be well up for that, being asked to piss outside. He, however, he is outraged. The dog is auditioning for Itchy n Scratchy n I have unattractive flea bites on my ankles.

6 comments:

  1. it is true - if you mark your territory the old fox will push off. We currently have one doing dumps on my footpath - as it's quite a public area we haven't resorted to this unusual deterrant, in case the neighbours think we are making rude gestures to them.

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  2. Wow we never have foxes, maybe 3 bossy girls outman any man!

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  3. Mrs Yappy Dog - Thanks for the confirmation. Have you any other suggestions

    auntiegwen- i wondered that lady wee might actually make things worse and we could have every old stray dog in the land at our door. It's bad enough with the human variety.

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  4. Mrs W the gel that you get in the garden centre to repel cats and dogs might work - 'get off my lawn' smells lovely like bubble bath ...also my borders are woodchipped - maybe that's why they choose the path and not the borders.

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  5. I sympathise with you about the fleas. Every year when it gets hot my old girl gets fleas, then the house get fleas, then our legs get fleas - horrible.

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  6. Mrs YD - thanks for the tip but have a dog so don't think i can go down that route
    Nearly 50 .. Thanks for the comment. It's a nightmare I have deflead the house and am in the process of doing it all again. There was even one in my car on Sunday. If this doesn't work then I'll have to call n the big guns and get some company to do it. I just keep equating their flea to the new clothes I have had my eye on.

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