Sunday, 11 July 2010

Leave it with me

Leave it with me is great phrase I use at work when I don't know the answer . It's a stock phrase when the kids want something and I don't want to be pressured into making an on the spot decision. Leave it with me however is not a good response to some one on your first date when they ask if they can see you again. At the very moment having uttered those 4 little words, watching the face of my companion for the evening crumple ever so slightly, I wished for the ground to open and swallow me up. Instead I bade them good night and walked off into the balmy night berating myself as I went. What was I thinking?! But as the hours passed by I knew in my heart of hearts that whilst I had had a pleasant enough evening it would never have gone much further. The 5'10 43 year old was in fact a touch of the Tom Cruise and was smaller than me in my heels which meant he was no taller than 5'8. I think he had heels on too. We laughed,we joked and we drank very little ( clearly not feeling myself that night) but there was no connection for me at all. As the evening drew to an end I started to panic as I could tell that he clearly felt more for me than I he. We walked back to his car and I started to wonder,worry, what I would do if he went for a kiss.I really didn't fancy him at all.I had been listen to the fanny barometer all night and there wasn't a smidging of a movement towards the slightly damp setting. I felt like a teenager not knowing what to say or how to handle it. So I said "leave it with me"....

Pre date I felt like calling it off. Cold feet etc. But I felt that with OTE but went through with it and had (good) fun and an amusing number of anecdotes to boot. Now we are friends.
Post date I felt miserable.This was not where I saw myself aged 43. I have felt miserable all day, have had quivery bottom lip and eventually had a bit of a sob. I feel like the rescue dog that was once well loved and through no fault of their own are now left wanting. Waiting to give all that love back. And I know my fate. After a year of looking out of my piss ridden cage with sad eyes. a well loved toy ( Ann Summers collection 2010 ) a pair of kindly old lesbians will take pity on me and take me home with them. Argh! pass the Kleenex.


  1. Would love to say something friendly and deep and sort of 'make you feel better'....but all I can think of is 'chin up girl' and chuckle about the thought of a fanny barometer!

  2. maybe I could market a minge moisture-meter...?

  3. Take heart - you`ve got to kiss an awful lot of short-arses before your tall handsome prince comes along! Just be happy being you in the meantime - 43 is not exactly an over-the-hill number just yet!

  4. Sorry, I am laughing ... at your fanny barometer

    But then I felt sad yesterday when we spoke. It will get better I promise. You are not a rescue dog in a piss ridden cage. You are the 2010 Crufts Winner. Can't believe I am talking to you in dog terms.

    I'll think of something better to say ... just leave it with me.


  5. OMG. All I can picture now is a little tiny 'Penfold' off Dangermouse in a pair of stack heels.

    Well, if you can't trust the faithful fanny barometer, who can you trust? there's plenty of fish, etc, etc... xx

  6. Goodness me Mrs W let's not take it to heart - this was a trial run, you may need several before you get into the swing of things, remember those teen years, a different boy every week, in love until the next, better one turned up? you will be there again soon I am sure. xxx

  7. Thanks all for your messages. Clearly the last paragraph has got the heart strings going. It was only a little sob, honest. As for the faithful fanny barometer and plenty of fish sentence that has made me LOL.
    I have deleted my profile from said dating site and am just going to go with the flow. Now if some tall dark handsome man approached me via my blog that would be a different matter altogether, not internet dating at all but a mutual appreciation of lady gardens, their maintenance and an appreciation of a good double entendre. let's hope they don't read anything about my kids though....

  8. Well, feckity feckity feck, my life is ever so slightly/completely the same. I was just saying this very afternoon to Libby that I might take up internet dating. Maybe not... (ps I've been blogging for 3 years, not even a hint of a shag have I had!!!)