Regular readers will note that I had been champing on about my desperate need to get dating and was looking at various Internet dating sites to join. And join I did. Out of the blogs that I follow regularly there seems to have been a theme emerging over the past week or so of blogging in the list stylee - see my sister's blog or a more sombre feel such as Notes from lapland or Fab Feisty and Fifty. I have felt myself flitting between the two as I got more depressed about the whole men, dating, Internet, relationships thing so as I wrote my shopping list this morning for my groceries in the back of my head I could hear a little voice saying...
Welcome to supermarket sweep where you can flog yourself to other people who may or may not want to date you. If you want to handle the goods you have to let them know but don't be surprised if they can't be bothered to get back to you. Manners aren't considered de rigeur these days.
Aisle 1 - Deluded goods - oh please why does man in his 50's have his age criteria for the ideal female right down to the mid 20's. They are batting way out of their league. I have been that person ( the younger one see Aisle 7 for female version) and whilst age differences don't matter as much in your 20's and 30's once your partner hits late forties early 50's bits start dropping off and their best friend telephone number is the GP and the dentist. Needless to say that when they state Ian, 49 he is no doubt actually Frank, 55.
Aisle 2 - Permanent Bachelor goods - I find it a little strange that a man can get to mid 40's and has not had a single long term relationship. Surely they have manged to clock a couple of years somewhere along the way?
Aisle 3 - Smoking goods - as an ex smoker of many years past I physically retch when I sit near someone who smokes. The idea of putting my tongue in there...ew?
Aisle 4 - Slaphead goods - There are lot of these in my age bracket. My ex husband was one which makes it even harder when looking at another shiny bald pate bouncing the light off you as they all start to look the same.
Aisle 5 -The weirdos - yes there are plenty and some of the photos they post are down right suspect. I tend to avoid the ones who look naked in a head and shoulders shot because you what? they usually are.
Aisle 6 - Grey Head aisle - I tend to find I am lingering a little longer in this aisle, particularly if they are of the George Clooney colouring. Sadly there are not that many of them.
Aisle 7 - Cougar country - I was startled, slightly flattered but mainly outraged by the fact that guys as young as 23 were wanting to meet up. At that age they should be pulling them of the walls not having to trawl through dating sites. What's wrong with them? Or maybe that's it,; there is something wrong with them.
Aisle 7 - Broken Biscuits aisle . This is where you will find me along with the others who are damaged goods, second or third hands at this game or with baggage in the shape of children of any age. And it was with this realisation that that is what I am, an ageing second hand rose with a lot of baggage that maybe I am not ready for dating just yet ( despite my interlude with Ole Twinkly eyes who is now beginning to look an attractive option if this is the pool I have to fish from) and that maybe internet dating really isn't the place for someone like me who is old school when it comes to dating and the rules of attraction. So I shall be dashing my trolley through the aisles and heading for the hills to lick my wounds. I would like to meet someone else but not when they are probably flicking between http://www.match.com/ , thai brides, and doing their weekly shop.
51 minutes ago