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Saturday, 15 May 2010

Sailing the Good Ship Parenthood

It has been a week of roller coaster emotions.....
He-man- who is he? The child strapped to the desk revising solidly? No. He is the grizzly bear to be found biking at the skate park til 1100 pm. He is the grizzly bear who gave me a great big painful bear hug on Thursday night after She-ra went to bed. He is still v angry about her sadness even though we all know it is his dad he is angry with. He has coped with his Dad leaving by blocking it out entirely and denying he even ever had a father.

"Have you filled in my form yet?" is a mantra that ends all my conversations with my sister. She offered to give me a reference for a dating site after I plucked up huge amount of courage to fill in the damn application form. 8 weeks later I am still waiting. Maybe I am just that bad and she is just saving me from further humiliation.

I have been shouty mum, which I hate, but we ended on Friday OK with daughter and I playing Banagrams in the kitchen ( the only warm room in the new house ) . If you saw She-ra on Friday you would have seen a very happy girl, especially as she managed to get into a pair of trousers she thought she couldn't. (But then she hasn't eaten properly all week.) As opposed to the tear stained face staring up at you from the sofa where she has hunkered down all week. I have an emergency appointment with counselling team on Thurs for She-ra who is now saying she doesn't want to see anyone. She-ra is depressed and fluctuates between moods not helped by teenage hormones on the rampage. She recently confessed to wanting to die as she couldn't face a life with the thoughts she has in her head. Not something a mother wants to hear and it floored me with the worry button going off the scale. Thanks Mr Ex for leaving so spectacularly and for the mop up mission to be a sole journey for my good self sailing solo on board the Good Ship Parenthood as we head towards the choppy seas of TeenageHood.

7 comments:

  1. Hi - wish I could join you for a strong coffee, piece of cake and a chat!

    Worry button off the scale - I can completely understand! Hang on in there, I know it will get better -

    Your writing makes me smile - sometimes I feel I'm the only one with 3 grizzly bears in the house! I'm thinking of a shed on the allotment and moving into it - I'd love to write a Maisey's basement, complete with photos of teens bedroom, and the other side of life...

    Have a great weekend - and thanks for telling it as it really is -

    xxx

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  2. Even when at your lowest you still manage to be funny. A friend of mine has a daughter doing similar stuff refusing to see counseller, telling mum to foxtrot oscar etc., and it is heartbreaking to watch. Hope you can get her to the counseller before you end up needing one yourself. xxx

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  3. Aawh sweetie, sometimes it's so hard, have some virtual love from your auntie xxxxx

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  4. Maisie's attic - If it wasn't for my innate sense of optimism and sunshine happiness I think I would be on a lot of tablets. Coffee & cake sounds good
    Mrs YD - Thanks for comments. I've had counselling for the Ex but She-ra only manged a couple or so sessions before the service was disbanded leaving her high and dry. Great NHS.
    Auntie g - Right back at you.


    The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~e.e. cummings

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  5. Oh sheeeit. Sorry to hear there's tears. Poor lovely girl. And bless her lovely brother for caring about her (they care in funny ways, gangly teenagers, don't they - squeezy hugs and head ruffles, i find).

    Hope things smooth over soon. And COME ON LAURA!! get that form done.

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  6. Sorry to hear it's been so shite lately. Bloody ex's they have no idea the havoc they cause! Hang in there and the teens will rally. I know it hurts to see your lovely girl in distress but she will work through it. You have all my support, and complimentary silly Kangaroo stories, here whenever you need it! Email me if you need to vent: vix@vegemitevix.com

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  7. Can I just say that I have written the reference now!

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