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Saturday, 29 May 2010

She-ra has gone off on her school trip and I will be without my right hand woman for over a week. I am really going to miss her but will be decorating her bedroom to her strict criteria ( christ I Hope I dont get it wrong ) whilst she's away. So that leaves me with .... The dog. Easy peasy. And He-man. Shitty gitty. He is dreadfully tired from the gcse's. That makes for a pleasant blend of foulness and bad temperedness with an occasional dash of loveliness. I would like to say that the tiredness is from dedicated revision but I think it is it the constant peddling back and forth to the skate park at record speeds. He is either a genius hiding it under a bushell or crazy deluded fool. I forecast a sudden bout of extreme pleasantness during the next week when he realises we have to go shopping for prom suit, possibly booking some extravagant mode of transport to get to said prom and that underneath all that testosterone is a really kind and sensitive lad who knows his mum is going to miss his little sister and just wants him to do well.

On another note my sister finally sorted out my reference for dating site and I'm "live". I am so freaked out about it I haven't been able to look for a week.

Sunday, 16 May 2010

Tits, purple flowers, eggs and family





So I finally get my arse, act, together and have done the 7 9supposed) interesting things about me using only the medium of photos. All thanks to being tagged by Audrey Horne.




Doing this exercise meant I couldn't fulfill the other challenge of doing the self portrait challenge for the Gallery. However after seeing Audrey's post for that one nothing could come close to making you feel humbled... anyway here goes and in no particular order.



1. She-ra - full of smiles, having won the 2009 Egg rolling championship hosted in our good northern town. It's a tradition started over 30 years ago, dwindled slightly but got back on track about 12 years ago and we haven't missed one since. The numbers of participants keep swelling and the search for the perfect Egg Rolling hill still continues. I guess this tells you about how proud I am of my daughter, how slightly strange we are with the our egg rolling obsession whilst being darn creative. The build up and aniticpation starts many weeks before the due date. The day itself is one I would never ever miss.















2. These flowers mean everything to me. I bought a tiny pot of miniature African violets for my mum for mothers day when I was 16/17. She was dead a couple of years later and somehow I have manged to keep these flowers going for over 20 years. Most good friends over the years will have had a small pot by way of a thank you. I love mine and can never quite believe how long they flower.








3. He-man! It's rare for me to get a photo of my boy without pulling ridiculous faces. This was taken last year on our first solo holiday together as happy 3 some in the south of France. I am very proud of my son, like all mothers, and somehow I feel he be taking a less traditional route to success than the university track I had envisaged for him but whatever he does I know he will be good at it and most importantly happy.











4. Laura laura laura. This photo was taken over 10 years ago. We were both working the cropped hair look very well. My sister has to be one if not the most important person in my life after my kids. I absolutely love this photo.







5. Tits. My tits to be precise. I had a plaster cast made after my very last breastfeed of She-ra. Foolish woman. I should have had them done when they were full of milky goodness and like zeppelins not half filled carrier bags. I still can't quite believe that my sister and friend at the time lathered me in their kitchen with a cast mix. I gave my tits to my Ex as a Christmas present. I kept them post divorce. After all they are mine.




6. Family. The 4 and 5 year old in this instance. But we have wrinklies to add here too of laid back and proper wrinkly variety near and far. My mother is always in my thoughts and even though I never really knew her as an adult she got me through the last couple of years. I absolutely adore my niece and nephew and they are a credit to my sister and good husband.








7. Friends. I had to truck through a lot of photos to get us all on and I couldn't find a single one but this nearly did it apart from missing our vg running friend of 3 who was ill and couldn't come to Holland last year. We had just cycled round the Vondel park before stopping off for a beer in glorious sunshine. I have absolutely fabulous friends and they have been there so much for me in the past couple of years I don't think I will ever be able to repay their kindness. I have laughed so much with them particularly on that trip when we did our own versions of Vic Reeves sings club singer style. Thank god I haven't got a vlog of that. I also need to mention that there are some other good mates that I also wanted to put on here especially the Carols of Scottish and Lancastrian variety. and Vicks and Christine and....Damn the 7 photo only restriction

I know it's an extra photo This is one of the missing friends. I couldn't leave her out. We were all laughing about this picture the other day. It was taken in Monaco. we had had the longest lunch ever and were playing celebrity lookeelikee. There was a hair dye issue just before we left. But at least she wasn't as red as the woman in the background.







So it just leave me to tag some others now. Apologies for this but I guess you will enjoy the challenge.






Saturday, 15 May 2010

Sailing the Good Ship Parenthood

It has been a week of roller coaster emotions.....
He-man- who is he? The child strapped to the desk revising solidly? No. He is the grizzly bear to be found biking at the skate park til 1100 pm. He is the grizzly bear who gave me a great big painful bear hug on Thursday night after She-ra went to bed. He is still v angry about her sadness even though we all know it is his dad he is angry with. He has coped with his Dad leaving by blocking it out entirely and denying he even ever had a father.

"Have you filled in my form yet?" is a mantra that ends all my conversations with my sister. She offered to give me a reference for a dating site after I plucked up huge amount of courage to fill in the damn application form. 8 weeks later I am still waiting. Maybe I am just that bad and she is just saving me from further humiliation.

I have been shouty mum, which I hate, but we ended on Friday OK with daughter and I playing Banagrams in the kitchen ( the only warm room in the new house ) . If you saw She-ra on Friday you would have seen a very happy girl, especially as she managed to get into a pair of trousers she thought she couldn't. (But then she hasn't eaten properly all week.) As opposed to the tear stained face staring up at you from the sofa where she has hunkered down all week. I have an emergency appointment with counselling team on Thurs for She-ra who is now saying she doesn't want to see anyone. She-ra is depressed and fluctuates between moods not helped by teenage hormones on the rampage. She recently confessed to wanting to die as she couldn't face a life with the thoughts she has in her head. Not something a mother wants to hear and it floored me with the worry button going off the scale. Thanks Mr Ex for leaving so spectacularly and for the mop up mission to be a sole journey for my good self sailing solo on board the Good Ship Parenthood as we head towards the choppy seas of TeenageHood.

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Typical day

I have just got back from a couple of days in the big Smoke. I am knackered. I have sore feet and feel dirty, A hair that was most definitely not on the chin yesterday has sprouted during the day to enormous proportions. How do they do that? I just hope my clients didn't notice. My hotel hair dryer broke whilst trying to tame the mane. Fortunately a colleague who packed the kitchen sink came to the rescue. I haven't eaten properly all day and neither have the kids. I have worried the entire time about the pair of them getting on as we had one of those days on Monday when they fight. Fortunately laid-back-wrinkly took care of them and it seemed to right itself. My father has just dealt the blow about the car repairs. £940! And it still needs more work. Shit! The boiler is on the blink, The new house has freaky light bulbs that need replacing and no one can work out how to get the fuckers out. He-man, currently renamed Grizzly bear, is on a short fuse stressing about gcse's. She-ra is busy planning spending money I don't have on things that she doesn't need for her forthcoming school trip whilst stressing about the patch of alopecia that has not fully grown back and which she is very self conscious about. I have had to lug a friggin huge laptop ( a misnomer in this case ) around for last 2 days and think I have trapped a nerve in my neck. I just hope my lottery numbers come up this week as recompense. Moaning blogger moment over and out

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Did I tell you I was related to Royalty?

By rights I should be still unpacking but this blog has brewing over the last few blogless days. About 5 years ago Susannah Constantine turned to me and said " I didn't know you were related to Prince William?" Neither did I. But when I turned to look at my sister in her red dog walking jacket, nay make up and short blond hair I could see where she was coming from. Laura & I had made it through to the final 5 for "What not to wear" with Trinny & Susannah. It was a special edition on sisters. They needed a glam one and one in need of a makeover. We were perfect candidates. No guessing which one I was. In a rather bizarre trip to London Docklands, in a state of the art empty office block, we met the other sisters. As we approached the venue more and more sisters got on to the tube all looking quite similar in a glam/dowdy kinda way. It was all a bit surreal like we were in some sort of sci fi film. Fellow travellers were looking strangely on at this group of similar looking co -travellers.

My sister had asked both myself and her husband to nominate her, lured by the need to win a wardrobe of new clothes ( and also the desire not to look like Prince William.) We must have put a good bid in as we got shortlisted. I'm glad we didn't get through though as having seen the finished article it was a bit boo hoo poor me and all the researchers kept saying to us was" talk about the death of your mother" as the reason for Laura basically dressing like our Dad. Still it was a good giggle and she can always get a second income as a lookalike. You can admire her here in all her moustached glory as she works the Magnum pi look. Or is that Borat? That's a wig by the way or put another way how Prince William would look if he grew a moustache and had dark hair.

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Slip of the tongue

We moved house on Friday. I am officially knackered and feeling my 40 ahem something plus years. My sister, good husband and adorable children came to help on Sunday. They had the guided tour before setting work on going through the stuff we no longer wanted and raiding the kitchen cupboards for treats. When pointing to the inbuilt shelving now housing book, game and crockery collection 5 year old was heard to say " Oh Shit " Glances were exchanged and eyebrows flew off relevant adults heads, we also found it funny. Ignoring the comment we moved on. My sister was adamant that she said "oh ship". Yeah right. Coming out of the top floor now known as He-mans' lair 5 year old was heard to utter at quite loud volume " What the HELL!" I know I shouldn't but it was really funny. We are a family of potty mouths and it looks like she has inherited the gene.