Wednesday, 10 March 2010
Finger of doom
Recently I reached a milestone. It was over 2 years since my marriage ended. I am ok with this. (Well as Ok as you can be.) I am now divorced, moved on and in a relationship which I have entitled ( unkindly some say, realist says I ) with the " transitional man." s a.k.a. Ol' Twinkly Eyes. I thought I had dealt with it. It being the death of a long marriage. My body however had other ideas. First I got flashbacks. Not nice, they were nicely buried memories thank you very much. Then we had tears out of the blue. Aw for fecks sake! Then we had the physical symptoms almost to the hour when it happened but 2 years on. Feeling sick, dizzy, disorientated, unable to sleep , extreme thirst, loss of memory, panic, fear etc. This was beginning to freak me out. I was no longer in control. And then the friggin finger thing started. 2 years ago it was a mishaped sausage, swollen and very painful. My friends had me plunge it into a bowl of scalding hot salt water which as very painful and didn't work. Now it looks like I have severe rheumatoid arthritis in my index finger. 2 weeks later all other symptoms have long gone but the finger still remains.Yes I have been to the doctors. That in itself is a major event for me as I Never Go To The Dr. It's like my own personal barometer, she said. Now that's a diagnosis worth waiting for.