Pages

Saturday, 20 February 2010

Boobs

Boobs are big in our house. My daughter, a.k.a as Boobzilla, has the most amazing pair. I too once drew envious sighs from my own mother who looked at hers and likened them to empty shopping bags. I now know how she feels. Cleavage is only achieved through finding the right bra, scooping them up and tying them down. The image is lost once it comes off - oh the sadness. once as a Christmas present for My Ex I had a cast made of my boobs. That was a fun evening. I remember my friend who had obliged leaving the cast of them on her back door as a surprise for the milkman the next day. I kept them post split after all they are mine. I even remember my sister making a huge papier mache pair for me once. You can imagine the looks on the removal men when I strolled the drive with one in each hand before stuffing them into the bin.

Meanwhile She-ra has no idea the effect her zepplins have and is oblivious that the little vest top she is wearing is having a devastating effect on the males around her. When I tell her to hike the said top up for the nth time her eyeballs roll spectauluary to the back of her head.

When she was due her first proper bra I took her to my fave lingerie shop. Granted I knew I would be leaving a significant wad lighter but she would be in good hands quite literally. The shop assitant is hoiking them up, pushing 'em in, rearranging nips etc - all quite daunting for a youngster but she took it all in her stride. The owner was very diplomatic and understanding of the needs of a young lady. She was only 11 - we are early starters in my family.

Still every time I bra shop with She-ra I can't help but picture my mum laughing at the FF cup sizes and putting the said garment on her head as an alternative chapeau. She-ra FF v mum DD. She-ra wins.

4 comments:

  1. Oh bless her, she sounds like she'll have men falling at her feet. I, on the other hand, have men falling over themselves to get out of my way. I can only achieve a cleavage with an Ultimo bra that weighs more than my handbag. Happy days...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi, thanks for birthday wishes - your posts always make me laugh. Contemplating my age, navel and empty shopping bag boobs today, your post was just what I needed on the right subject at the right time!

    ReplyDelete
  3. and only 11? Wow, she'd going to have them dropping at her feet in a couple of years isn't she?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ta- English Mum those ultimos weigh a ton

    Mrs Yappy - i find laughter the best therapy. hope you have a great birthday

    Heather - she is nearly 14 now! She has been propositioned this week by a boy at school. when she asked him why he wanted to gout with her he replied "..because you are pretty and got big tits..." Subtle eh?

    ReplyDelete