Thursday, 21 January 2010

Up & downs

This week has been ups and downs. The Ups being: She-ra choosing her GCSE choices ( double science, geography, Spanish and graphics thank you for asking ) He-man ( brace yourself ) got an A* for his Oral exam in Spanish GCSE ( he can do it! ), my lovely new bed arrived, my lovely grumps put it up for me ( I envisage a lot sweating here ) , I managed to get my "how can you choose Football over Fucking?" dig in, I have stopped looking at my mobile phone for Ole Twinkly Eyes messages, Ole Twinkly Eyes has taken to ringing me before I think about contacting him, Ole Twinkly came into my office today looking for me ( that's a first ), first run of the year in record time, listening to the kids actually talking to each other and even having silly fun. But the best has to be the gcse night and the A* - so these are the warm fuzzy feelings kids can give you.

The downs: He-man having massive strop because his friends have teased him about having a milf, He-man getting very angry about his father, He-man still insisting on changing his name, utter crap going on at work where intelligent people really should know better, worrying about leaving the kids whilst going on a 3 day training programme as part of management course now on, She-ra turning into a teenager and talking in a strange ( and annoying ) fashion, worrying about going on course as includes abseiling and am afraid of heights, worrying about having to report ex husband to police for unwanted (& continued) contact, bitter about not having enough money to pay for all the things I need to go on management activity course,( due to ex husband yet again), being on my own ( Ole Twinkly Eyes does not count ) feeling the weight of responsibility of bringing up 2 kids on my own and having lots of important life decisions to make with them, crying all the way home from work because just it just all felt so shitty...not being able to have a good nights sleep in my new bed because of everything going on, Ole Twinkly Eyes saying I should wear a Dunce cap, annoyed that when I want to spend the night with Ole Twinkly Eyes it is like organising a bleedin' military manoeuvre with sleep overs and dog sitting as ex husband doesn't even come into equation ( so much for the benefits of being divorced ), being sucked into watching Celebrity Big Brother, having zero will power and only managed 2 days without my beloved red wine, being reminded that it is my birthday next week and not relishing the prospect.

But here we are remembering the successes of the week, balancing the old see-saw of life and trying to look forward to the weekend even if does involve wearing a Dunce Cap and little else.


  1. crikey that was a bad day, the dog was the only one who got off without being layed into! life is closing in on you - how fantabulous you will feel on your management course - go for it - you have two whopping teenagers who are probably capable of looking after you as well as themselves if they had to - everything will be fine, this will be a management training course for them too - managing themselves - the dog is the calming influence in your house - trust him completely. All will be well.

  2. p.s. I have a whopping teenager with mood probs too and an 11 year old with ADHD big time, and I need a new bed, desperately want a dog (for calming influence), can't do without me red wine, etc.etc.etc., you are not alone.

  3. It always looks worse when you put it in black and white but blogging can be quite therapeutic. Generally I am very resilient but just some times it doesn't hurt to let it just be and accept it for what ever it is... We have red wine and laugh in the face of teenagers and life.