Monday, 5 October 2009

Queer as folk

Sometimes the strangeness of people is just over whelming funny. First we clocked up yet another house viewing. I think we must be on about 100th now and still no joy. We arrived at houseviewing 99 - the home to an oriental family. She was most annoyed with her husband that he had taken the key to the garage and therefore I could not view the inside of this magnificent building. Fook that! the rest of the house looked like something a tsunami had spat out. In fact I am sure that her husband was hidden under the duvet as I had never quite seen a bed made like that before. The living room was a quanrtine zone for a very swine flu looking a girl and there was a strange child running about in a vest. The best we could say about the house was that her cooking smelt really nice.

Who could have thought that a a quick trip to Big Tescos could have brought so much amusement. The woman on the check out had more hair clips in her hair then a branch of Claire's accessories. I was fascinated and couldn't stop staring. She-ra picked up on this and no eye contact was vital to make it away without laughing. Then there was was nice but dim security guard who had to apprehend us because the hair clip demonstration model had forgotten to take off the security tag. He wrote some very important numbers of the back of his hand which he then smudged when he went to wipe his nose with the same back of hand. He ould have easlily been related to Forrest Gump. Finally - completing the setting there was the broken down car. This was actually blocking our car and having just bought my own body weight in ice cream - various flavours - then this was not a good situation to be in. There was a youngish couple trying to push the car out of the way but with no result. Shit, I thought selfishly to myself, I'm going to have to help here - where is my son when you need him he could move this easily. The couple continued to try and push the car out of the way as we approached when the guy flounced to the front of the car where there was a rather large man sat in the driver seat. Ah that's why it isn't moving. But no there was more. With much arm waving there then appeared a rather large lady from the back seat most indignant that she had been asked to out of the car. You could almost hear her saying, as she shifted the weight of her humongous breasts from one arm to another " I'm a size 6 yah know...." Cluck cluck

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