Thursday, 7 May 2009
Heman is older than she-ra. She-ra has just become a teenager although has been displaying the symptoms for some time now. Heman at 14 nearly 15 has been developing teenageness at a slower rate. However I think we can safely declare that he has arrived. Physically he has always looked much older but now he can add grunting , attitude, smell, lack of awarenes of time and complete disregard for anyone else to his list of achievements. The bedroom floor is awash with clothes, mainly dirty. The trousers are half way down his backside showing suitable trendy undercrackers which means I can no longer buy tesco value pack as it just wont do. In fact I should consider taking out shares in H&M as that is where most of the money seems to go. That and TK Maxx. The shoes are plenty in number and are of a size most dwarves would class as a des-res. He lives entirely on pizza, cheese, and vast quantities of cereal. I find myself shrieking about spots, hygiene, wanting to know where he is and treating the house like a hotel. Now where have I heard that before?
I took she-ra to her first gig, basement jaxx along with some of my friends and one other intrepid girl. What was I thinking?! First we were the oldest women there and therefore stuck out like a sore thumb, were decidely uncool in daughters eyes which meant they hot footed across the sticky dance floor to be as close to the stage and as far away from us as possible. All was well when warm up act was on, getting a bit busy, more crowded but hey ho. Then suddenly it was more like a guinness world record attempt of sardines. The girls disappeared from view and by now we were squashed against the soundbox. The other mother went into lioness-protecting-her-cubs-mode and somehow managed to swim against the tide and finally locate the girls and bring them back like a labrador hoicking a stick from a lake. Much sulking and glaring under fringes went on but at the same time you could tell they were relieved to be close by. Basement jaxx were great...if you were 10' tall and could see over everyone, otherwise much looking at feet, avoiding the drunks ( and there were many...terrible habit ahum) and trying to dance to fab music. We all looked longingly at the upstairs balcony complete with seats, no crowds and excellent view of the stage but not wanting to admit that that was where we really wanted to be and admit we were over the hill 40 somethings. I later discovered that my cool 20 something friends all go on the balcony. Despite being of an age where I should know better I wore new pumps. Big mistake. I still have the contours embedded in my feet and my toes repel everytime i go near my hush puppies. I digress. She-ra asked to go home half way through the gig, 10 minutes later her feet ached and 10 mins after that she was going to be sick. But I must remember that that is code for fab night for that was she she declared aferwards.